Relationships Still Matter

Written by Kevin Trokey Monday, 12 September 2011 04:00

Having spent my entire career in the insurance industry, I’m not sure how much of an understanding I can claim for other industries.  However, it’s hard for me to imagine an industry where the purchasing decision has historically been tied to the “relationship” as much as it is in ours.

As much as I want to believe that businesses have gotten beyond a decision making process more appropriate for choosing friends in middle school, I’m not sure that’s always the case.  I mean, really, with the economic challenges we have faced over the last few years, wouldn’t you think that business owners would recognize the need to make the best business decision, every single time?  Even if that means breaking a relationship with someone you could count on for a free lunch and an occasional round of golf?

But, the more I think about it, maybe the relationship isn’t mutually exclusive of good business decisions.  Maybe the timing is just out of order.  Think about your personal relationships.  Who are you most committed to in your personal life?  It likely isn’t the friend of convenience who comes around once in a while to take you out to lunch.  You know, the one who you can’t really enjoy the lunch with because you know they wouldn’t have asked if there wasn’t something in it for them?

No, your best relationships are with those friends and family members who you know always have your best interest in mind.  It’s the people who will drop what they are doing to help you with a moments notice.  It’s the people who tell you the brutal truth because you need to hear it.  It’s the people who help you see what is special about you and help you take advantage of those traits.  It’s the people who make you a better person because you spend time with them.  It’s the people who you naturally seek out in times of both need and victory.

Relationships in business aren’t a thing of the past, but I do think there has been a paradigm shift.  Relationships can no longer just happen up front.  They can’t be built by a little glad-handing, big personalities, or a self-serving lunch.  No, relationships have to be earned in the same way you earn trust and true love. 

- Take a genuine interest in your client.
- Be brutally honest when necessary.
- Give the best advice (even when it has nothing to do with you).
- Make them stronger as a business.
- Focus on their needs over yours.
- Help them take advantage of their strengths.

Do so without expectations and you will likely see that the end result is a relationship that will be almost impossible to break.

Who knows, they may even be the one who picks up the tab the next time you go out to lunch.


Photo by Erich Ferdinand.

 

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4 comments

  • Comment Link Friday, 23 September 2011 13:33 posted by Kevin Trokey

    Hi Bob. I guess brutal honesty does sound harsher than it has to be. Of course, even hard to hear messages can be delivered kindly, especially when being given with proper intentions.

    You are so right, medium and what it means to "talk" to someone are changing constantly. I have always said that my daughters have texting devices that just happen to have a feature to speak with someone if they ever chose to do so.

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  • Comment Link Friday, 23 September 2011 11:47 posted by Bob Keiger

    Hey Kevin - You always provide good thoughts - but perhaps the KIND TRUTH might substitute for BRUTAL HONESTY. You also got me thinking more about relationships and how might they be built differently today than perhaps we did in the past. While there will not likely be a total substitute for face to face time, increasingly I see relationships built and enhanced through social media - Facebook, Twitter, Google+. LinkedIn, texting. We should not overlook these changes to relationship building. I think it was Marshall McLuhan who coined the phrase "The medium is the message" - and that might be truer today - especialluy for 20 and 30 somethings - than ever before. I know it certainly has been this way when I try to "talk" to my 29 and 32 year old sons!

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  • Comment Link Monday, 12 September 2011 19:52 posted by Kevin Trokey

    Hey Bill. You are so right, do the right thing and good things will happen. Thanks for stopping by!

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  • Comment Link Monday, 12 September 2011 06:50 posted by Bill Dorman

    Ok, my friends don't have to be brutally honest with me; even though they are....

    The biggest take-away I read in this is when developing relationships be willing to help, to bring value without any expectations in return. Yes, we get paid to do what we do, but if you develop the relationship appropriately everything else seems to work out.

    Relationships are still very much important, especially in our world.

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